The baddest motherfuckers who ever done wrote about sports.
Our resident All American Sport expert. He has over two decades of experience studying every professional sport in the U.S. of A. Currently, he is banned from most trivia nights at sports bars due to his high win rate (over 95%). As a VCU alumni, you do not want to dare question him on NCAA Basketball facts that he spits out. Originally he is from Hampton and proudly represents the 757. Legends says that most ESPN/FOX/NBCSN analysts look to him for the truth.
Originally from Alaska, Sten has been known as the Hugh Glass of his generation (if you don’t know who that is watch fucking The Revenant). With over two million miles clocked on his Garmin GPS Watch, there is not a cyclist he does not know about. He recently graduated in a PhD of AtsroChubbyness. Expect-in depth reviews of Philadelphia sports and extreme sports. Hold on to your biking pants as you will need them.
As the fictional grandson of Larry David, Ders has a wide variety of sports interests. Most of his time is spent watching European Soccer and spewing out semi-accurate information based on his abnormal heart. USC is his alumni and follows all accompanying sports, even though they ripped him of most of the money he once had.
A man that lives a life much like those organisms we recently found in the bottom of the ocean feeding off nutrients we didn’t think possible, Max has some of the most astute information on all European soccer. While scientists study how he has managed to survive, his brain has concentrated on giving tactical analysis, big brain thinking, and biased Chelsea opinions beyond that of most mortal men.
Joey “DonaTakeBack” Donatelli was born in the sports world, molded by it, and climbed himself out of a endless pit of soccer balls to get where he is now. Most renowned for his strike volleys, he produces a Liverpool (and Pittsburgh) side of all things European footy related. As the most creative writer of the group, he will most likely provide the most entertaining commentary compared to the rest of us numskulls.
Pictured here in his natural environment, Ben has been legally declared a Troll by the Danish monarchy. If you’re looking for a laugh and want to make yourself feel better, always take a look at his weekly analysis of sports. We warn his thoughts do not exactly represent those of “ChubbThoughts”, but we insist you give it a chance and see where it ends up.
His earliest memory was his dad pouring gasoline on him in the bath tub when he destroyed his sister’s favorite Barbie Doll. While this eventually gave him his nickname of “Scuba”, he has been surprisingly unaffected by such an experience. We still are not sure what he will contribute, but we can guarantee you that whatever he does, will become a headline on FoxNews, NewsMax, Alex Jones, and the JRE podcast.
As our resident Arsenal fan expert, Chris has showed the rest of us how to dress properly when going out in public. He has continued to pursue professional footy so keep an eye out for him the future. One of the most loyal members on this team, we still give him shit for the tight pants he wears.